Parsnips are Best

This piece is inspired by an exercise set by Fran Tracey (Izzy French) in her one hour session, Writing Erotic Fiction, at the Swanwick Writers’ Summer School 2019.

Life is Hard.

Unlike Brian!

That’s why I turn to my desperate desire for satisfaction to my vegetable rack.

Parsnip-White-GemParsnips become my best friends. They are rough and ribbed and rigid.

Best of all, they are strong and unyielding.

Unlike me!

I am soft and yielding, especially in the company of my best friend.

Luxurious heat radiates through my body as a perfect parsnip slides easily into my vagina, stretching me. I moan out loud. I push my friend deeper into my body, pummelling my pussy with my rocky, rock-hard parsnip.

Oh! To be rooted by that earthy root vegetable. Bliss!

My head explodes.

Health Warning: 

Skin contact with parsnips can result in unpleasant irritations. Take care!


Waking Relief

When I awoke this morning, I was shocked that I was sporting the most gigantic erection that I had ever experienced. My cock was so huge and swollen that it almost felt that it was not even a part of me. But I knew that it was most definitely me.

My whole body and my brain were enormously aroused.

As I drifted from sleep into consciousness, my vivid dream of you was still very much alive. It was no wonder that I was rock hard and ready for action.

In my dream, I had awoken, lying on my back with you astride my chest, pinning my arms to the bed with your knees. We were both naked. It was an enactment of the final count of three in a wrestling match. I was helpless. I was completely at your mercy. You had overpowered me and I could not move.

You were masturbating, vigorously. Rubbing your hairy mound really hard. Not inserting your fingers into your very wet slit, but pleasuring yourself towards inevitable orgasm. The sight turned me on tremendously. I was mesmerised.

“Stay exactly where you are! If you move, even an inch, you will suffer!”

I didn’t take much persuading. I knew that you meant it.

You moved upwards so that you were squatting over me, legs spread wide.

You continued to masturbate as you watched my cheeks and chest reddening and my prick swelling with arousal. You had me whimpering.

Pee started to dribble through your fingers onto my chest and neck. You pushed two fingers inside yourself and then pushed the same two fingers into my mouth.

“Suck! Lick my fingers!”

I had no choice. I had no complaints. I was loving it.

As you frigged yourself, the stream of your pee became stronger.

“Open your mouth!”

I complied.

Your urine streamed into my mouth, over my face and neck and chest. You were in complete control.

With perfect muscular control, you stopped your flow. You moved back down my body and grabbed my stiff cock with your free hand. You opened the flood gates once more, drenching my prick, my balls, my tummy and my thighs. You steaming hot piss soaking me. We moaned in harmony as I felt your pee seep down between the cheeks of my arse, saturating the sheets beneath me.

Eventually, you emptied yourself.

You lowered yourself until the tip of my engorged prick parted the swollen lips of your eager pussy. You rubbed against me, pulling me inside you. I felt your cunt squeezing me. Teasing me. Pulsing strongly. And then you rose, deliberately allowing me to slip out of you.

You rolled over onto your back.

That was my dream.

As I lay there, reliving that dream, I had pushed back the duvet. I was squeezing my truly massive erection. It felt as if it was still swelling, becoming even larger. I was fit to burst. Pre-cum was wetting its head and making my hand slippery.

I imagined the continuation of my dream.

I knelt between your legs.

You told me to pee on you. It is almost impossible to pee when I am erect. Lying on my back, I kept squeezing and rubbing. I contracted my stomach muscles. I was bursting to go to the loo. I desperately wanted to pee. I squeezed as hard as I could. A dribble of pee emerged from the end of my prick, wetting my hand and flowing onto my tummy. It was hot.

I pushed some more. Another squirt onto my tummy. And then another. It was hot.

I rubbed my urine all over my bare stomach. Some of it flowed down my sides onto the bed. I didn’t dare. I was drenched and hugely turned on.

The image in my mind was of my pee spurting onto your thighs and your hand as you masturbated for me. I was still at your mercy.

I could hear the squelching and smell the fresh piss, yours and mine.

“Fuck me! Fuck me, right NOW!”

“Let’s take our time, Pen.”

“No! I want you to ram your glorious prick into me, fast and hard, this second. All the way in, as deep as you can go. I am ready. I am SO ready for you. Do it NOW, Auridius! NOW! I mean it!”

You wrap your legs around me and grab my arse, digging your fingernails into my flesh.

I place the swollen, bulbous head of my cock against your entrance, parting your lips, and I thrust. I plunge into you so hard and fast that our pubic mounds collide with maximum force.

You do not scream as your orgasm racks your whole body. I feel you shaking, rocking, shuddering. I feel your pussy rapidly clenching around my prick as it fills you. You let out a series of gasping squeals. It is powerful. The sounds and feel of you. The smell of my hot pee as I imagine it slapping between our enmeshed bodies.

As I lay there, thinking of this, I keep wanking. I can feel myself erupting, but I do not cum. You know that it has been almost impossible for me to cum since I had my dorsal slit operation a few years ago. I am so close to exploding. The pressure of me emerging spunk is almost too much to bear.

I wish that you were here and that we were actually doing all of these things together. I am sure that you would be able to make me cum. Fuck, I’m so close!

Mutual Thrust

If you were with me behind that waterfall, I’d fuck you deep and hard.

Oh! You are! You are with me!

Our naked bodies are drenched in the warm mist from the falls.

DSCN0723I lift your arms above your head and clamp your wrists together with my right hand. You have no option but to thrust your slick throbbing body against mine. My erection presses against your belly. You rub against me as much as I rub against you. My left hand reaches down between your thighs and slides upwards until the base of my thumb pushes hard against your swollen wet slit. It opens to the pressure. You want me inside you, desperately. I want to be inside you, desperately.

My hands reach around to squeeze your bum. I lift you up and you wrap your legs around me tightening your body scissors. The tip of my prick nuzzles against your entrance and slips inside. Your whole body shakes as you experience a shocking, rapid, explosive orgasm. I lower you so that you gradually impale yourself on my rigid cock. Your rock against me. I carry you over to our flat rock and lay you down on the bed of leaves that we have spread there, ready for us. Your legs spread wider as my whole bodyweight thrusts my throbbing cock deep inside you. We both feel the volcano about to erupt. Thrusting. Throbbing. Fucking. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!



Apple, Crumble and Ice Cream

You are a hot, perfectly baked, apple crumble.

I am a portion of smooth, vanilla ice cream, infused with specks of spicy cinnamon.

Beneath your rough, golden crust, you are steaming slices of sweet apple,

Apple CrumbleStewed in their own juices.

I lay on your surface and begin to melt,

Seeping through your beautiful shell,

Yet unable to break through that barrier.

The heat of your true desire

Rises through that false pastry crust of resistance

That you have constructed between your lustful hunger

And my own profound yearning.

It is a layer of denial of your true feelings.

Eventually, it is the heat of your desire that breaks the crumble,

Rather than the flow of my cream through that crunchy strata.

You rapidly realise that resistance is impossible,

Whilst your desire is so strong.

I infiltrate every fold, every crevice, of your hot, fruity filling,

Penetrating, deep into your most intimate depths.

Your previously brittle crumble melts into my cream and into your juices,

Becoming a new, delicious flavour and aroma,

Adding a most wonderful texture.

Apple, crumble and ice cream meld into one.

It is a truly loving union;

A natural, eternal trilogy of true love.

Apple. Crumble. Cream.

Freya’s Bum

A very personal tribute

The following short story was written by Lars to his fellow blogger, Freya, when he spotted her blog post about what she considered to be the best part of her own body. She enjoyed Lars’s writing very much. How about you?

I saw this photo on your blog. I was instantly aroused. My little brother suddenly sprang to attention inside my trousers. The pressure on my fly buttons almost caused them to pop open. Very sexy thoughts raced through my mind as I jumped into the photo and joined you there

bum 01I slapped that curvaceous bottom of yours; hard! Thwack!

I was hard and growing harder.

You didn’t move, so I slapped again.

“That hardly tickled me!” you laughed.

“It doesn’t hurt, eh? We’ll soon see about that! When I spank you bare bum it’s going to sting!”

“I can’t wait for that!”

I reach forward and grab the sides of your waistband and slowly slide my hands around to the front, relishing the touch of your smooth, warm skin. As I pop open the top button of your jeans, I press my hips against you. You press back, willingly. You wriggle your bottom until you can feel my obvious arousal fitting perfectly between your tight cheeks. I press harder, rocking as I do so. You push back, matching my rhythm.

My right hand slips into the tight gap at the front of your jeans. My left hand moves upwards under your camisole top to squeeze your breast. You moan, still thrusting backwards against me. I pull your bra cup down and flick your nipple rapidly with my index finger and thumb. You throw your head back against my shoulder in ecstasy.

I undo the rest of the buttons on the fly of your jeans, deliberately letting my fingers wander to touch you intimately through the material as I do so. I crouch down, tugging your jeans downwards as I descend.

“You’re not wearing any knickers, Freya!” I exclaim. “That is very naughty indeed, and you know what happens to naughty girls get don’t you?”

“Yes! I really do deserve a spanking.”

“And you are about to get one!”

You raise your feet, one by one, and I pull off your trousers and cast them aside. You stand up and make a move to remove your top. You pause when you see the look that I am giving you.

“Yes. Please take off your top and your bra.  I want to see you completely naked. You are so sexy!”

They quickly join your jeans on the patio floor.

“Now lean forward and rest your elbows on the table. Spread your legs and stay very still.”

You do as I ask. What a view I’ve got! This is even better than the photograph that I leapt into a few moments ago. As my eyes take in the sight your sensual curves and your gleaming inner thighs, and as my erection threatens to grow beyond all previous limits, I remove my own clothes.


I smack one of your gorgeous round cheeks.


“Oh sorry. Don’t you like it? Should I stop?”

“No. No. Please don’t stop. I want it. Smack me again.”




You yelp with each smack. I stop to caress your bottom and slide my fingers between your cheeks. I slide them downwards. You are so slick and oily and wet, and you are so obviously totally ready for me. But I am not quite ready yet. I want this to last a bit longer.





I move around behind you, slotting myself once more between your cheeks. Once more, you push back against me. We rock together. I want you so badly. I can tell by your movements that you want me just as badly.

A very dirty thought enters my mind. I’d really love to bury my prick to the hilt in your tight little ass- hole. I pull back slightly and lodge my tip firmly against your entrance so that it stretches slightly.

“Yes! I want you. I want you to fuck my ass! But not dry, like this. I’ve got some lube up in the bedroom. Let’s go!”

“No. Not yet. Later.”

I draw back.

“That’s a very, very naughty thought though, Freya. And it is just the thought that I was having myself.”





“You deserved that for being so dirty. Didn’t you?”

“Yes. I did. And I deserve more.”

You are loving this every bit as much as me.

I move behind you once more. This time, as I move forward. I push my prick between your legs so that the tip bounces up against your tummy. You close your legs start swaying back against me. I can hardly contain myself, but the feeling is so good. I slide my hands around your hips until I can press my penis against your juicy opening. You moan and place your hands on top of mine, still bent forward onto the table and thrusting back against me.

We continue like this for many minutes, slowing down each time we approach a climax, and then increasing the pace and the enjoyment until we approach that peak once more. We both come close to orgasm several times before you finally press the head of my prick inside your willing, slick pussy.

My hands roam all over your body as your own fingers play with crazy lust amongst our freely flowing juices, squeezing us both in a mad, passionate frenzy. Your push your finger-tips inside yourself, increasing the sensations on my thrusting sword, and doing god-knows-what to yourself. There are absolutely no limits today.

My hands grasp at, and squeeze, your beautiful breasts, pinching your erect nipples, extracting yet another squeal from you. I bite your neck. I reach up and pull your hair so that you arch your back against my chest, hugging me even tighter with your inner muscles. You are so ready for me; wet and steamy. You shuffle your feet apart so that your legs spread widely. I can feel your heat as I slide easily into your welcoming haven. As I thrust deeper, I can feel all of your tiny muscles clenching me in glorious spasms.

I thrust into you, hard. Back and forth we move, my hips clashing against your beautiful backside. It may be your best asset, but I am enjoying the entire feast of your wonderfully gorgeous body right now.

Our passion grows. The volume of our groaning and panting increases until we are almost screaming into the stratosphere. We are well beyond the point of no return. There is no stopping us now. With a roar I explode inside you. My hot cream instantly mixing with your steaming juices. You shudder as the tremors of your orgasm ripples through your body like an earthquake. There are trembling aftershocks. Your orgasms seem to last an age. I feel every one as powerfully as my own. My whole body feels as if it’s on fire.

As soon as I withdraw from you, you spin round and grab my hands.

“Come on! You know what’s coming next. Let’s go upstairs and find that lube. You’ll love it. It’s cherry flavour,” you laugh.

As we run upstairs, we both know that we have hours of playtime ahead of us

Behind the Waterfall

Peacefully we snuggle up together,
Silently staring out through the curtain of water
Across the mirror of the calm pool,
Reflecting the verdant jungle beyond.
The spray caresses our bare skin,
Just a film of moisture between our bodies.
We are one.

We share the warmth of our bodies.
Without a word we share our loving thoughts.
The fragrance of the forest
Infiltrates our secret alcove.
Our loving thoughts arouse our passions.
Our hands wander, arms wrapping each other’s bodies.
We are one.

The soft touch of the droplets from the fall
Caresses the entirety of our skins.
Our finger-tips caress the wholeness of our skins.
We are sensitive to each other’s needs,
Drawing even closer as we stare out across the pool.
We will make slow, passionate, burning love.
But not quite yet.

We are one.


Fingers laced together, soft wet lips parted

Breath caught in a trance as our bodies follow a natural rhythm

Sensuous touches from flighty fingers, trailing patterns

A map of sweet torture across hot desert skin; waiting, parched,

Panting for lubrication

Silken skeins of hair falling like a curtain

Hiding the hungry eyes of a predator

Waiting to devour its prey: you

Sharp claws holding on tight as you ride

Bucking and screaming in delight

Till sated and damp, you release the beast inside you

Passion burns hot and quick; explosions of light and sensation

Only to dissipate into the darkness of night, silence encompassing the once electric pulse

Coolness dousing bodies now mapped and remembered

Ravines and mounds discovered and conquered

The quiet after the storm; the dying light in the embers now growing cold

Slowly drifting like the desert sand into a dreamlike state of peace

Only to be aroused once again as the restful wind blows the embers

Sparking the fire that constantly burns, delicious and hot

Raking at the coals of passion to ignite again and again

Until there is nothing left.

Credit to my friend, Penelope

Are You Watching Me?

I slam my plastic clothes basket down onto the tiled floor.

That’ll wake him up!

With a quick glance at the flickering red light in the corner of the ceiling, I start to load my clean lingerie into the machine, piece by piece, holding each item against my body as I do so. I deliberately leave my crotchless lace panties until last, pressing my middle finger through the opening into the groove in my jeans. The lens has a good view of my action.

I fill the capsule with gel and pop it in on top of the pile of clothes.

I slam the door and select program “R”.

“R” for rinse. “R” for rapid. “R” for rub.

As the machine gathers speed, I run my hands over my body, knowing that he is watching me from his house in the next street. My nipples harden. I am already damp down below. As I apply pressure to my throbbing mound, I can feel how wet my knickers have already become.

He is rubbing his stiff cock through the material of his jeans. Perhaps he has already opened his flies and is squeezing his naked flesh. I will make him cum before I do.

As the machine starts its spin cycle, I step forward to press my groin against the shiny white, vibrating surface.


I slide my hands up under my thin cotton shirt to squeeze my breasts and pinch my nipples as I press my pussy harder against my wonderful machine.

Oh fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I stare directly into the lens, licking my lips as I approach my climax.

He is pumping his prick, hard and fast. Cum you bastard!

I am so hot and wet. I am cumming.

His hot spunk is spurting uncontrollably over his hand and his jeans.

“R” is for “Aaaaaaaaaaargh”

Fuck! That was so good!

This 1800 RPM machine is my best purchase ever. Not only does it clean my already clean lingerie, but it gives a man in the next street a remote orgasm.

Free Book Offer

WPB CoverTo celebrate my name launch and to tie in with Halloween, I am offering the Kindle version of When Pleasure Blooms as a FREEBIE for three days, from 30th October to 1st November. Just click on the link during the offer period, and download a copy.

Somewhere, buried within the pages of this anthology, you’ll find a ghost and a monster. Read the book and find them for Halloween!

All that I ask in return for your free book is that you post an honest review on Amazon when you have finished reading it.

Oh! And if you would be so kind as to spread the word by re-blogging, re-posting, re-tweeting and telling all of your friends, he would be most grateful.


When Pleasure Blooms

An anthology of five erotica short stories.

WPB CoverWhen Pleasure Blooms – A unique short story which is very sensual and erotic yet has absolutely no explicit descriptions of sexual acts. An extremely rare and exotic flower brings great pleasure to those who are lucky enough to find it in bloom.

An African Massage – The tale of Tony, who gets more relaxation than he expected when he visits an African resort and unwinds, on his first day, with a massage.

Mary Had A Naval Virgin – This story is based upon the popular nursery rhyme. These are the adventures of a couple of Royal Navy officer cadets when they encounter the unlikely ghost of the fabled Mary.
Includes some m-f-m action with the ghost as the jam in the sandwich!

Highland Roots – Fiona, a female American descendant of Jesse Chisholm, founder of the Chisholm Trail, heads for the Highlands of Scotland to investigate her Scottish roots. She meets her kilted distant cousin, Bruce, in a pub. He takes her for a ride into the wild mountainous countryside on his ancient motorbike. The trip turns out to be more exciting than either of them could possibly have imagined.

On The Altar – Against the strong advice of her sister, Stacey O’Malley makes the long journey from western Canada to a medieval church in southern England in her quest to discover the truth behind her recurring dreams. The sexual tension builds to extreme heights, and is sustained as Stacey’s emotions and body are stretched to the limits when she encounters a monstrous beast.

Click here to order your Kindle copy now